Stuck in the middle with them.

[ashleigh04]

I came into school today with everybody in my form looking at me. Evil looks coming from 15 + 16 year olds. So i just sat down quickly. This girl Becca was crying. I thought she had probably split up with Sam, a guy no girl can resist. He respects women and is just so fit! So anyway Hope, Becca's best friend asked me to go outside with her for a minute. Here is the conversation, I'm in bold.

<B>Erm so why are you taking me out here?</B> bold
Becca's really upset yah know.
<B>Well she doesn't exactly like me so i didnt ask why. Whats it got to do with me anyway?</B> bold
Sams finished with her.
<B>Oh? Why's that?</B> bold
He fancies another girl.
<B>Ok and why are you telling me this?</B> bold
Ok quit the act, He fancies you ok! Becca is devastated. He rang her last night finishing whith her, simply because he fancies you. He'll ask you out today and you have to say no for Becca's sake.
<B>Look Becca doesn't care about me so why should i be all nice now? I'm going out with Ben so i obviously can't but i wouldn't tell you what im doing anyway.</B> bold

I've fancied Sam for ages but am currently going out with Ben. One of year 11's popular guys who everyone drools over.

Then theres this other guy, an msn conversation between me and denice, about michael. The other guy again im in bold...

Hey!
hey!
Are you alright?
<B>I'm fine thanks and you?</B> bold
I'm ok though theres something i need your opinion on.
<B>Sure ask away</B> bold
Well you know Michael? I kinda have this really bad crush on him...

Michael is like a punky guy. Really tall hair all over his face and fit!
So today i went into science before Dee. Dee's been in the room ages with michael near her. Nothing. I walk over to him and he immediately walks over and hugs me. It's not the average 2 second hug. We're there for like a minute. Dee is giving me evils currently and then when we let go she runs over to him throwing her arms round him.

He waited for me after science when it was lunch, my friend wasn't here so he offered to stay with me. He took me to the field and we went in this private bit where hardly anyone goes. Now this wasn't really fair on Ben, my boyfriend but he was busy playing football. You could tell he was jealous when he saw micheal. Anyway he knew where we were.

Michael and me started flirting like really badly. And then we lay down. And he had his arms around my waist. And we were just staring at each other. Then my other best friend John (punk rocker dude) came over and was like errr Ash your out with Ben. And we sat up straight away. John used to fancy me and i just wanted to stay friends, he walked off without telling anyone.

Then we started flirting again and we... made out. Like not friendly duh! proper. And then this is the bad bit. We made out twice more. And erm Ben's friend Carlton this stuped fucker told Ben we were messing about so guess what, Ben was there when we kissed the last time. He got really angry and threatend to kill michael and michael threatened to hit him back. Ben walked off and i ran after him. And we're trying to sort things out. Relationship on hold.

So anyway to make matters fucking worse when Sam saw Ben walk off angry he assumed we broke up and he asked me out. I don't know why i just burst into tears and Sam took me to the toilet to talk with me. He was really understanding though yet again Ben saw and went mad again.

So what to i do. You must think me a right slut believe me i'm not.

[Crow'sia]

You have some really bad timing here, I think. The only thing I can think to say is maybe you need to ask yourself what you're getting out of your relationship with Ben, and if its worth it. Cause it doesn't seem like you're really feeling it anymore, but it also seems like you really don't want Ben to leave your life? Or am I stupid? O.o

[ashleigh04]

I really don't know what i want anymore. I mean i don't want to leave Ben but heres what happened today.

I really didn't want to be at school today but i had tests and since Sam, Mikey and Ben are in most of my subjects they were with me. I saw Ben with his mates and i walked over to him but he just walked off. I saw Michael and went to talk to him. He tried it on again but i wasn't in the mood, Sam hung round with me at luch most people thinking slut we just talked and stuff.

[Crowy]

You have summer coming up right? Maybe things will simmer over that?

[ashleigh04]

perhaps. I have been calling Ben's mobile but he's putting it down on me.
He said we'd try things through but he's getting the wrong idea of things with sam when he talks to me. Sam's been great though he knows how im feeling and he said even though he likes me he wants me to be ok.

[Crowy]

It good that you have someone to talk to then, who is respecting you. I think Ben just needs to cool down, and when he's ready you can explain things to him.

[stitchedskull]

Well... first of all... remember I'm me. So... don't take any of this the wrong way... but yeah.... just keep the fact that Corpse Rotten is speaking here.

You deserve it.

Yeah... you flat out fucking deserve it. (This is being said from the point of view that I don't know you, and am not going to be cuddle and nice because we rp together.)

Anyone who is with someone should treasure them. They shouldn't have it in their heart to be or do anything with anyone else. That's a sign that you don't truely love the person you're with, if you're willing to tear them up that much.

I'm not saying anything with anying other than my values backing me up, no past experiences or a great deal of age tied to my ass, but it's downright wrong to do anything at all with someone. If you've talked with the person you're with and you both agree it's fine to mess around with other people, that's your choice.

My best pal cheated (all the way) on her boyfriend, and felt horible about it. I told her I was fucking glad she was miserable. She deserved every second of torment and guilt she got. Anyone who is willing to risk their love, doesn't have any to risk. Then she cut herself for it which really ticked me after she shunned me so much for doing it myself. I quit, and what does she do? Start. Cheating really fucks up lives.

I don't have a boyfriend, or plenty of people whom I may be intrested in goin' with after me. I'd kill to have people love me, and have the balls to tell me. I dunno how special it may be romanticly, but it's special that so many people have a clear intrest in you.

You can do what you want, go with who you want, but at this point, you've fucked everyone up. There's no way you can get yourself out if this grave without hurting someone.

So... in short... do whatever the fuck you want. You deserve it all.

-Corpse

PS. Telling yourself you arn't a slut doesn't change anything. A slut isn't based on personality. IT's based on the values people have. You obveously have not a value in your fucking soul.




And if anyone wished to bombared me... I will simply say fuck you. This is my opinion.

[Kindred Blue]

Corpse - I'm not going to bombard you, but what how personal you make your comments. Like you said, you dont know her, so dont say anything so deep.

Espirit, if you want a good, strong relationship, then damn well get rid of Michael and get on your hands and knees and sort things out with Ben. If you want fun, flirts, and probably sex by the sounds of him, go with Michael. Whatever happens from your choices is something you need to deal with, but first and foremost you need to choose what's right to do, and do it in the easiest way (without hurting anyone, or at least, not too many people). It is your life, your relationships, and it should make you happy.

But yeah. I highly suggest that, the next time you have a boyfriend and some other guy tries to kiss you, say no the first time. Or at least the second. Maybe the third of fourth at a push. Its easier for everybody if you just stay loyal to who you're with. People always complain that they dont know which guy to date and it pisses me right off - some people have been alone all their lives and have nobody to choose from. Perhaps you should count yourself lucky that you've got about four guys who might be with you for the rest of your life (and yes, it can happen).

[stitchedskull]

I'm not snapping. (To Kinneh)

It wasn't meant to be personal to her.... more just to everyone. It wasn't written /to/ her. Just /for/ her.

[Crow'sia]

I understand where you're coming from Corpse. But it's also at this age, and I'm assuming all of us are still minors, knowing what's right and whats wrong is really hard, we act impulsively and thinking with our hormones, not our brains. Which is why I have sympathy, but you have a good point.

Anyways, Crow ain't that experienced. Kindred has a point too.

[/rambley]

[ashleigh04]

bloody hell corpse, thankyou for that.

Kinneh-
Fuck no, i don't want sex. I'm 15 and am not one of those people.
I don't know why i did it. It happened and i can't change it. I love Ben and we've had something going on for months. I hate myself. Me and michael were best friends. End of story.
But ben and me weren't seeing so much of each other and i don't know why i did it.

Crow -
I love Ben like i said but when people you've fancied from the past or fancied while your with your guy is just weird for me. Especially when they come out at once.
When i'm with ben i know i said i fancied them but fancy? It doesn't mean i want to go out with them or fuck that. But i guess i got pissed off when i saw Ben with his ex the other day. That might have been why i got off with Michael. But i regret it.

Corpse-
I know you said it's just me but i still found it fucking harsh.
You say you don't have a boyfriend... yes? Well then you obviously don't know what it's fucking like. Like i said to crow i don't why i did it perhaps it was when Ben and Emma flirted which pissed me off. Perhaps i wasn't thinking.
Just don't start getting fucked with me.
Maybe i shouldn't be with anyone but i love Ben. I know that now and it is possible for a girl to like like 3 guys at a time and can be bloody hard. Especially when it's 3 guys you pretty much love to pieces (not like love, love.)

Michael isn't like that. I'm making him sound like a perve. He (as he says) fancied me for a few months and we havn't been on our like we used to much lately. So thats how he says he expresses his feelings.

Ben made out with a girl last night which upset me. Hey i deserve it though because now i know what it felt. We were at a party (huge) at someone's house. He did get drunk and when i tried to talk with him he just fucked off away which left me crying but he said somethings too. But because there are 4 guys in my life, now 5. But i promised for that not to stray me away (the naked twat on webcam. Crowy should know) then wherever i go ones always there which makes Ben go the wrong way again.

[Crow'sia]

Ben seems like he gets jealous easily and feels threatened when you're with members of the opposite sex. If you ever get to talk to him, maybe you should bring that up. But he had no need to get revenge; its immature and its not nessicary. However, he is now in a place where he can not hold over your head your mistake, because he has done the same. Unless you two have completely broken up. But it really sounds like while he was drunk, he was probably trying to hurt you. I don't know, but I don't think we completely loose our heads when we're drunk.

[stitchedskull]

First of all, I do know what's like. I was talking currently. I /have/ had boyfriends, and have been in similar situations. I never said anything about it not being hard. I know it's possible to like three guys at once, I have before.

I understand I was harsh, but right now I'm rather love struck, and have seen this happen to people I love. I just know how much it hurts them, and it pisses me off (if you can't tell) to see people start it.

I don't mean to hurt your feelings, or really piss you off. I'm not trying to be harsh, but on the other hand, I'm not trying to water-down how I feel.

You have my opinion. That's all there really is to say.

And... I fuck with who I want.

[Kindred Blue]

Corpse, hate to break it to you, but I didn't say you were snapping.

Espirit, if you dont wanna be confused or hurt, stick with one guy instead of five - it'll solve your problems in a jiffy.

[stitchedskull]

I know... I didn't say you were...


I was saying that so you didn't think I was in the post I stated it in.