Post by stitchedskull on Apr 30, 2006 21:06:32 GMT -5
Alright, before I start, I want to say something. I am a butthole. I'm sorry about everything I said. I didn't mean it. I'm have an emotional break down, so I don't know what I'm saying half the time.
And I know the internet isn't the best place to let out your problems... but I have to. I don't have anyone else to talk to about it.
Well... my very best friend whom I love dearly is an alcoholic and refuses to admit it. She is so good at lying to herself, even I almost beleive her, and I've been watching her to this to herself for several years now. We met when I was in 6th grade, she is a grade above me, but instantly we became great friends. Almost everyday I would hang out with her and her twin sister, both of whome were (at the time) the coolest people I had ever met. But I was in a fog of ignorant childhood. I started handing out with her (Rex) more than her sister, and we became best friends. We'd always hang out, and it was great because out parents were friends too, so whenever they hung out, we did too. It was perfect. Until she confessed to me one day that she drank in teh summer. That her dad would go and buy her drinks, and make them for her. Being young, I thought it was so cool. My friend, /my/ friend was a rebel. Tori, the energetic looser who had hardly any friends, was best friend's with a rebel. Once I was in eighth grade, I started getting angry when she told me stories of what wicked parties she went to with her friends. I thought it was jealousy, and maybe it was partially, but I was angry at her for what she was doing. Every week she would tell me of how much she drank, how shitfaced she got, and have the hangover to prove it. Just a few months ago, I woke up from the dream of awe and anger at her. It was her mother's fault. Her worthless, dead-beat, skanky, burnout of a waist of flesh and brains mother. Her mother is a drunk, a pot-head, a slut, and not a mother at all. She always complains of how hard life is for her and her three kids (they are quite poor and depend on their father for rent and a car and child support), yet when she get's her kid's child support, she spends it on clothes, for herself. She never has food in the house, and is never home. Rex tells me when they have food, and is thrilled about it. Kid's aren't suposed to be exited when they have food in the house. She leaves my friends to watch their younger sister almost everynight so she can party. Then, she bring's home random guys and they spend the night at her house, and leave the next morning. And that's how Rex and her sister (Skiter) can do what they do. They just send their younger sister to a friend's house, and they go party. Rex drinks, and Skiter smokes pot. For a while I spoked with Skiter, then I got caught and decided it wasn't worth it until I was in college and out of my parent's house. But that aside the point... my friend, Rex. Just a month an a half ago she was caught by the cops waisted. She doesn't even remember it. Her mother was in NY for a week when she caught. When I got caught she in Nevada at Burning Man, whom her kids had to help pay for her to go. But, just last week she got caught again. See, I got caught, smartened up, and stopped. Rex 'smartens up' and claims to drink less. But four shots is not less. And she claims it was an accident. Which I respond to by saying 'You wouldn't have those accidents if you didn't drink.' She said she only had four shots, and it isn't /just/ four shots. Four shots is a lot, and the accident was it was Bacardi something or other, that acctually had 70% rather than the usual 40%. So, she's claiming she's not an alcoholic, even though she refuses to quit after being caught several times, and knows how angry it makes me. She say's she will just drink less... but less for her is four shots, which gets my father trashed, and he drinks a lot, and is a lot bigger than her. Now she's pissy because she was forced to dump her drunken boyfriend by her fuck-ass mother. I'm worried she'll do something stupid. She has, and she even says she wont. She say's she'll never get in a car with someone who's drunk, which I partially beleive just because we live in a really small town, so there isn't much need to drive. But she has had sex, and she regrets it. And it was with a 32 year old man, and she was 15 at the time. I shouldn't say that... but I had to. I've never told anyone, and now I just let it out on the internet? I'm so scared for her, mostly because she has the typical mindset of 'This doesn't happen to me. It happen's to them, not me.'
Now, my parent's say that I might have to simply walk away from her. But I can't imagine doing that. She would have no one. Her father lives in NM, her mother is never there, she can't be with her boyfriend and his friends. What would that do to her? She would probably drink more I think. Maybe she would get the message. That I can't be with her when she's drunk. But she told me when we hang out she doesn't want to drink. It's fun for her when she's sober, so I want to be around her so much now, just so she doesn't feel the need to drink. My desperate measure is going to her mother. I know her mother is horable, but she has the mind of a teenager, and maybe she'll get the point from me, her 'adopted' daughter, and her daughter's best friend who knows more about her than anyone else. I might simply star cutting, which I know she hates when I do it, and tell her I'll quit, she does, just so she knows how frustrated I get.
Anyway... thanks for reading it. Now... I'll try my best to be on good behavior. *weak smile*
And I know the internet isn't the best place to let out your problems... but I have to. I don't have anyone else to talk to about it.
Well... my very best friend whom I love dearly is an alcoholic and refuses to admit it. She is so good at lying to herself, even I almost beleive her, and I've been watching her to this to herself for several years now. We met when I was in 6th grade, she is a grade above me, but instantly we became great friends. Almost everyday I would hang out with her and her twin sister, both of whome were (at the time) the coolest people I had ever met. But I was in a fog of ignorant childhood. I started handing out with her (Rex) more than her sister, and we became best friends. We'd always hang out, and it was great because out parents were friends too, so whenever they hung out, we did too. It was perfect. Until she confessed to me one day that she drank in teh summer. That her dad would go and buy her drinks, and make them for her. Being young, I thought it was so cool. My friend, /my/ friend was a rebel. Tori, the energetic looser who had hardly any friends, was best friend's with a rebel. Once I was in eighth grade, I started getting angry when she told me stories of what wicked parties she went to with her friends. I thought it was jealousy, and maybe it was partially, but I was angry at her for what she was doing. Every week she would tell me of how much she drank, how shitfaced she got, and have the hangover to prove it. Just a few months ago, I woke up from the dream of awe and anger at her. It was her mother's fault. Her worthless, dead-beat, skanky, burnout of a waist of flesh and brains mother. Her mother is a drunk, a pot-head, a slut, and not a mother at all. She always complains of how hard life is for her and her three kids (they are quite poor and depend on their father for rent and a car and child support), yet when she get's her kid's child support, she spends it on clothes, for herself. She never has food in the house, and is never home. Rex tells me when they have food, and is thrilled about it. Kid's aren't suposed to be exited when they have food in the house. She leaves my friends to watch their younger sister almost everynight so she can party. Then, she bring's home random guys and they spend the night at her house, and leave the next morning. And that's how Rex and her sister (Skiter) can do what they do. They just send their younger sister to a friend's house, and they go party. Rex drinks, and Skiter smokes pot. For a while I spoked with Skiter, then I got caught and decided it wasn't worth it until I was in college and out of my parent's house. But that aside the point... my friend, Rex. Just a month an a half ago she was caught by the cops waisted. She doesn't even remember it. Her mother was in NY for a week when she caught. When I got caught she in Nevada at Burning Man, whom her kids had to help pay for her to go. But, just last week she got caught again. See, I got caught, smartened up, and stopped. Rex 'smartens up' and claims to drink less. But four shots is not less. And she claims it was an accident. Which I respond to by saying 'You wouldn't have those accidents if you didn't drink.' She said she only had four shots, and it isn't /just/ four shots. Four shots is a lot, and the accident was it was Bacardi something or other, that acctually had 70% rather than the usual 40%. So, she's claiming she's not an alcoholic, even though she refuses to quit after being caught several times, and knows how angry it makes me. She say's she will just drink less... but less for her is four shots, which gets my father trashed, and he drinks a lot, and is a lot bigger than her. Now she's pissy because she was forced to dump her drunken boyfriend by her fuck-ass mother. I'm worried she'll do something stupid. She has, and she even says she wont. She say's she'll never get in a car with someone who's drunk, which I partially beleive just because we live in a really small town, so there isn't much need to drive. But she has had sex, and she regrets it. And it was with a 32 year old man, and she was 15 at the time. I shouldn't say that... but I had to. I've never told anyone, and now I just let it out on the internet? I'm so scared for her, mostly because she has the typical mindset of 'This doesn't happen to me. It happen's to them, not me.'
Now, my parent's say that I might have to simply walk away from her. But I can't imagine doing that. She would have no one. Her father lives in NM, her mother is never there, she can't be with her boyfriend and his friends. What would that do to her? She would probably drink more I think. Maybe she would get the message. That I can't be with her when she's drunk. But she told me when we hang out she doesn't want to drink. It's fun for her when she's sober, so I want to be around her so much now, just so she doesn't feel the need to drink. My desperate measure is going to her mother. I know her mother is horable, but she has the mind of a teenager, and maybe she'll get the point from me, her 'adopted' daughter, and her daughter's best friend who knows more about her than anyone else. I might simply star cutting, which I know she hates when I do it, and tell her I'll quit, she does, just so she knows how frustrated I get.
Anyway... thanks for reading it. Now... I'll try my best to be on good behavior. *weak smile*
