Solitude Is Beautiful Madness

[stitchedskull]

<sup>The day was beautifully taunting, just coming to a perfect end to end it all. The sky was turning to a vermillion over the ocean, then a shocking golden hue. From there it faded to grey, then blue and purple swirls with silver clouds. The sun just ducked under the sea, and I was left alone with the eerie lights and watchful eye of the moon.

Alone... it sounded so real tonight. I had spent days alone... but not like this. This was... true loneliness. Only the gentle wind on my tuffted banner kept me company, but it was cold, not warm like my mother's heaving breath. This was the second night without her. Before I was too much shock to know. But now I did. The whole day I lay alone in the fields, until I heard others and fled away from my grove.

I ran until my weak legs gave in under me. I was sure I would die, I prayed I would as my small body lashed with pain and fear. But no horses came, and death did not prey upon me as it did my mother. It was sickness that made her weak, and a stallion that stole her final breath.

I cursed to the heaven's,a word my mother would surely not aprove.. but that didn't matter now. She was gone, and could never scold me again, tell me to come, or give me a kick for misbehaving. She could never nuzzle me, or pick me up after a fall.

I didn't know if the swelling in my chest was guilt, rage or sorrow. Stopping in the tall grasses I hung my head, my sides shaking as my limbs gave out. I fell to the earth, my white belly splashed with mud. Tipping my black and white face to the sky I gave a small cry of hoplessness, then fell to myside, letting the crimson sky fade to black.

xxxxxxxxxxxxx

I woke to the rustling of small animals, my mis-matched pools opening to swirl about in my sockets.

"Mother?" I squeaked, my pupils swelling in the blackness.

I was responded only with terrified squeals as teh animsl hurried back to their dens.

"Mother!" I cried, sitting up, then trying to get to my legs. I tumbled and fell on the throbbing limbs, whimpering in pain as I fell upon a small rock.

But she was gone.

Curling into a tight ball, I tucked my damp muzzle between my limbs, my auds flat in fear. I closed my pools tightly, but they snapped back open, wide and frightened.

Is this how I'm going to feel for the rest of my life? How long might that be? Forever... or only a few more days?

I didn't want to die like this.. scared and alone.

But it looked as if I would.</sup>

[cicadanoise]

It was late; even the crickets had stopped chirping. The night sky was clear, the stars and moon giving just enough light to see by, though not well. Shadows jumped from the rocks and bushes, and occasionally the stallion walking across the empty field would startle, or freeze in fear, only to realize that he was jumping at nothing.

River had just returned from a long journey to visit his father - that was what he told those who asked, at least. He had been to the Graveyard. That was where his father's spirit rested, and River went there once a year - he wasn't even sure why he did it, but it brought him a certain measure of peace.

The buckskin wasn't a large horse - just barely over fourteen hands high - but was full-grown at six years old. His coat was dusty from travel, but the high summer grasses had brushed his belly clean, revealing his true color - a sandy golden-brown, darkening to chocolate socks on all four legs.

It was dangerous to travel at night and alone, and River knew that - he ought to be looking for a place to sleep, not continuing to put one hoof in front of the other, letting his feet wander while his mind did the same. He didn't have any real destination in mind, though - nowhere to hurry towards, and nowhere to run away from.

"Maybe mother's herd in still in the foaling lands..." he whickered to himself, thinking aloud. He hadn't seen his dam, Dandelion, in a year and a half. She would be getting too old to foal now, but maybe she'd have a daughter or a friend to attend to. "Mm, I'll go there in the morni--"

Something moved in the underbrush.

River stopped short, his brown eyes wide and rolling. This time he was sure he hadn't imagined it - but he couldn't see the creature clearly, it was too dark. He stumbled backwards a few steps, snorting, afraid that it was a wild dog or a cougar - it looked about the right size.

But the little bundle of shadows didn't growl or leap at him. It lay there, breathing - he could hear the breaths now, as sharp and shallow as his own - and slowly, the stallion put out his muzzle and sniffed.

He smelled horse. And fear.

"Hello?" River sniffed again, venturing closer. A horse this size couldn't be anything but a foal, but he was still wary. "Little one, are you alright?"




{Sorry I didn't reply sooner! I didn't see the thread until you mentioned that you'd posted for me! XD *is a tard*}

[Corpse]

My swollen pupiles could see only a large mass, undoubtedly a horse, but other than that... I knew nothing. Every time I had met a horse... it was cruel. I was afraid. Shaking violently, I shrunk smaller, hoping it hadn't seen me, or would have the heart to leave me be.

My first wish for it to leave was ruined as it stretched out it's dark muzzle towards my tiny bod. I arched as close to the earth as I could, my auds flat and limbs turled around my sunken belly. My jaws lay flat on the grass, eyes large and staring up at the on-coming muzzle.

Then, it spoke. I felt my fear press tight against the walls of my stomach, and emerged as a tiny squeak. At first I was horrified I had given up my hiding spot, then knew I was already seen. By it's voice I heard it was a male, but the tenderness went directly over my head. I didn't think it was possible for a horse to be kind to me. There was something wrong with me. Perhaps he hadn't seen whatever it was that made them so angry. I tried not to speak, but it was impossible.

"What? What do you want?" I squeaked, my small voice cracking in fear. My muscles ached, crying out to run and get away, but they were frozen. I knew better, he could easily run me down, and I didn't want to run anymore. Plus... something told me to stay put.

[cicadanoise]

"I don't want anything," River replied, ears swivelling forward. The colt - it was definitely a young colt, he could hear and smell that much now that he was taking the time to note it - was clearly terrified. And that fear wasn't unwarranted. Stallions did sometimes kill foals that weren't theirs.

Moving slowly, gently, and making no sudden movements, River lowered his head and sniffed at the little horse, his steaming breaths ruffling the colt's short mane. He didn't smell any trace of sickness or injury, but the little one's coat was stale, sweaty. He'd run from something, and run hard.

Satisfied that the colt was merely scared and alone, River lowered himself carefully onto his knees, then down on his side. The earth was colt and damp - not a good place to sleep at all. The colt must have gone to ground here out of sheer exhaustion.

"I'm not going to hurt you," River assured him, shifting slightly to relieve the discomfort of a stone that was digging into his side. "My name is River. What's your name, little one?" The stallion's voice carried a soft smile. "Where's your dam?"

[Corpse]

I lay flat, knowing not to move for it meant death. Even if I wished to flee, I was frozen from fright, and my muscles pained me too much to run at all. My muscles tensned as his muzzle drew closer, I was sure he would grab my hide and toss me like a ragdoll. Stomp on me and kill me as my mother was killed. I had no trust of stallions, instinct or memory.

"Please..." I managed to state, closing my eyes tightly as I awaited my death. All the better, right? I could be with my mother forever and always.

Then, I felt nothing. I only heard a soft thump. Opening my eyes I saw him lay beside me. Still frightened, I rose my head from the ground, staring at him with mis-matched optics. Tiny thorns rose high, looking too large on my skinny frame. It didn't want to hurt me? Why? Surely it was a trick.

"M-my name.. is.... Romance Dysfunctional."

Hearing him question my dam made me forget about being terrified of the stallion. I closed my eyes tightly, squeaking and whimpering and I ducked my head aginst my chest, flattening my thorns. I shook my skull back and forth as my eyes and throat burned. I felt my stomach churn. None had yet asked... I didn't think it would hurt so bad. But... but it made it true, that I was without a mother. "Sh-she's..." I parted my jaws, but could say nothing more.

[cicadanoise]

The colt's reaction told River all that he needed to know. So she was gone - whether killed or simply taken away, by stallion or man or something else, he wouldn't ask. He knew that pain secondhand, having seen it in his own mother's eyes when she thought of her first mate and only love.

Stretching his neck out again, River touched the little horse's shoulder with his muzzle, velvet mouth lipping at the colt's fuzzy coat reassuringly. He could taste the salt of dried sweat on his hide, and the skin beneath felt clammy. Without proper warmth and shelter, the young one would take ill easily.

"You said your name was... Romance Dysfunctional?" River murmured thoughtfully, tilting his head. "Strange name for a colt..."

Where River's parents had come from, simple names were preferable - names that told of their owner's birthplace, or described their features. River had taken his name from his father's: naturally, Watersong's son would be River, as he'd been born near a streamlet. But in some lands horses had such grand names... the stallion might have chuckled over it in other circumstances.

A thought occured to the buckskin. Romance Dysfunctional would need to be fed if he wasn't yet weaned - he looked close to that age, but he was thin, and there was no comfort quite like suckling from one's dam. Since he was planning to go towards the foaling grounds anyway, perhaps he could take the colt with him, find a mare who had enough milk for him...

"Romance Dysfunctional is certainly a mouthful," he commented, peering around and trying to draw the colt's gaze. "May I call you Ro?" Not waiting for an answer from the frightened horse, River continued, "I'm on my way to see my mother and her herd - why don't you come with me? Not tonight, of course, but..."

[Corpse]

<sup>I couldn't tell if I could trust this stallion... but then it crossed my mind, it didn't matter if I did or not. I could die out here, alone and cold from starvation, or I could go with him. If I went with him I would either live, or die as my mother did. I stayed silent, staring at him with my large, frightened eyes, pondering what I was to do.

All instinct I had told me to run, to get away from him, but I could not move. I knew if I ran I would only be running to my death. Slowly, I sat up and inched across the earth towards him. He was warm, and I was cold. I stopped and lay against the warmth of his belly, resting my head on his side. My thin bod still shook with fear, but there was nothing I could do. We were all going to die eventually... no use fighting that.

"It was after my ma.... Perfected Distortion. It was because I was sick."

I didn't know what it meant by sick. People got better, right? And I didn't feel sick. But I suppose if you're born sick, you never know what it feels like to be well. Maybe that's why the other foals didn't like me, because I was sick.

"She called me Mance."

I silenced myself in thought. Maybe he didn't want to hurt me. He would have already, right? Why would he just toy with me for so long. And going ot her mothers herd? I doubted they would aprove of me, no one had yet. But again, there was nothing I could do. I felt like a rag doll in the jaws of life. Besides, I my weening had started just the day before my mother's death. I would be able to survive, but in all honesty, I didn't want to be weened. I'm sure no foal wanted to, that's what Ma said. Slowly, I nodded.</sup>